for I have sinned
by jazelock
Summary: It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution. -Oscar Wilde. Written for AkuRoku Day


Written for 8/13/08. Also dedicated to Remi, my muse personified.

I do not own Kingdom Hearts, A Picture of Dorian Grey, yadda yadda, you know the drill.

* * *

"Axel?" Roxas paused, unsure as to how he should proceed from there. It was a rare moment where the redhead actually calmed down enough to sit still. And this was one of them. For once, Axel was not fidgeting in his chair, playing with little bursts of flame on his fingertips, tapping his foot, or, option d, all of the above. No, he was actually sitting still. Granted that he was slouched in it and looked as if he would slide off and park his butt on the floor any second, but he was still. And quiet. That was another major discrepancy. No whistling, no weird sounds issuing from his mouth reminiscent of flatulence.

He was, however, tapping a pen against the side of the chair in a frantic, steady beat. It faltered now slightly before resuming. "Hm? Yes, Roxy?" His eyelids rose from their lowered position as he pinpointed Roxas with a green gaze.

"You're quiet." His tone bordered on incredulous.

Axel merely raised an eyebrow at this, absently twirling his pen now instead of trying to beat a hole into the chair. "I can go singe Vexen's hair if you'd like that better." The pen slipped from his gloved fingers to the floor. "Shit." As he bent to retrieve it, Roxas caught a glimpse of the paper that had been half-hidden within the folds of Axel's coat. It sat in his lap and bore bold chicken scratch that served as Axel's handwriting.

"No, it's just…strange for you."

"Well, like I said, I can go risk my life by sabotaging a superior's belongings or weird you out by staying here. Hmm…Zexion's lexicon is out; I like my sleep nightmare free, got it memorized? But who the hell fights with a dictionary, Kingdom Hearts. Or we could go get that ice cream you're addicted to. You're going to go through withdrawal soon if we don't get some this week, I swear. Oh fuck…" A dark corridor had begun swirling into being as Axel was exploring his train of thought. Now Saïx stepped through, impassiveness radiating forcedly from his figure. "Axel. Your presence is requested by the Superior."

"Just 'requested'? Or more 'requested with refusing to appear resulting in being turned into a Dusk' kind of request? Yeah, yeah, I'm going. Don't get your thong in a twist."

Unfortunately for Roxas, as Axel was quickly swallowed up in summoned darkness, the paper vanished along with its writer. Something must have shown on his face for Saïx scrutinized him for a long moment before dismissively leaving. Roxas flushed and debated between staying to wait for Axel's return or retreating to his room. His mind was still on the verge of indecisiveness when Axel reappeared, lips twisted halfway between a sneer and a snarl.

"Oh, hey, Rox. You're still here. There's been," here he pulled his hood up and slowed his words to an exaggerated speed—or lack thereof—mimicking Xemnas's melodramatic voice, "a certain agitation of Heartless within Traverse Town. This could either bode well or ill for the completion of Kingdom Hearts…blah blah blah."

"So you have a mission?"

"Yeah… Listen, I'll be gone most of today, but if I make it back early enough, we can go up on the tower." Axel grinned. "Don't be too heartbroken while I'm gone. Oh wait a sec…"

"Ha ha," Roxas retorted dryly. "I'll count the seconds."

Axel's grin widened. "That's my Roxy." A dark portal whisked him away. Roxas waited a second or two before calling one of his own. Black tendrils resembling smoke wafted into his vision and cleared just as rapidly to reveal the hallway leading to half of the members' rooms. Quietly, Roxas tiptoed up to the door marked with the Roman numeral VIII and listened. A moment later, he heard the distinctive sound of the room's occupant leaving the castle, for real this time, via their trademark teleportation method.

Damn it all, he wanted to know what Axel had been writing that had absorbed him so. And here was his chance. Whoever had designed all their coats had, very inconveniently, made the concealed pockets shallow. Which, many of the neophytes agreed, just defied their purpose as nothing could be put in them with the guarantee of them staying there throughout numerous battles with Heartless. Hence Demyx's mission orders often disappearing on said missions because he refused to memorize at least the basic gist of the instructions like everyone else did.

So, if Axel hadn't suddenly decided to change his habits, the mysterious piece of paper should have stayed behind. Meaning Roxas now had a window of opportunity to see it. If he could find it, that is.

Thirty-two minutes later, Roxas's patience was rapidly being consumed by his frustrating and fruitless search. Contrary to what most of the other Organization members thought, Axel's room did not look quite like a disaster zone. It was messy, granted. But nothing close to looking like a bomb had exploded in it. Still, half an hour of energetic rummaging had not revealed the paper's whereabouts. And Roxas was fairly certain he had looked everywhere. Maybe Axel had taken it with him.

Roxas refused to believe that or even entertain the thought of surrendering. Grimly, he looked about the room and tackled his task again. Another twenty-something minutes later, Roxas patted himself on the back as he beheld his treasure. Tucked within the pages of a book that had been taped to the underside of Axel's bed. Roxas hesitated, then stole a quick glance at the book cover and rolled his eyes in amusement. Trust the one book in Axel's room to be _Fahrenheit 451_. Flipping the book open again, he carefully extracted the folded piece of paper that he had suffered for. Slowly, prolonging the moment, he opened it.

Taped crudely at the top was what appeared to be a ripped fragment from a page of a book. Roxas winced at how Zexion would react should the Schemer discover that particular offence.

_It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution._

He raised an eyebrow and ran his eyes over the first item on the list in Axel's barely decipherable handwriting

_-Ho hum, forgive me, father, for I have sinned. A lot. And I will continue to proudly._

Trust Axel.

_-I discovered a pretty naughty anagram of our oh-so-exalted Superior's name._

_-I maimed one of Vexen's experiments accidentally._

_-I lied in the above sentence. Replace 'maimed' with 'destroyed utterly', 'one' with 'several', and 'accidentally' with 'on purpose'._

_-I laughed when Vexen blew up over it. Not actually explode. That would be gross. Vexen guts. Ew._

_-I tore the Oscar Wilde quote out of one of Zexy's precious books._

_-I didn't tell him about it. And I don't plan to._

_-I proudly kicked a certain flower pansy's butt when sparring._

_-I kicked him again while he was down and whining._

_-Then singed his hair for the hell of it._

_-I said 'hell'. Heh._

_-I cuss like hell. Example._

_-I burned a certain flower pansy's garden a few times._

_-Actually, more than a few times._

_-I burned Luxord's cards. Accidentally. _

_-I burned his beard while he was sleeping after the bastard slowed time on me._

_-I stole sea salt ice cream the first day Roxas joined._

_-I think Roxy and I gave some geezer a heart attack while on that tower. Ah, well._

_-I watch him eat ice cream and automatically think of jailbait._

_-I burn things._

_-I like the above._

_-I lie, steal, get drunk, watch people's asses, destroy, and did I mention burn things?_

_-I kill Heartless._

_-I am not supposed to have emotions._

_-I don't give a damn._

_-I am out of ideas._

_-I watch Roxy's ass._

_-Scratch that, I watch all of Roxy._

_-A lot._

_-Ok, whenever he's within watching distance._

_-I like Roxy._

_-A lot._

_-I think I might_

Roxas slowly refolded the piece of paper, replaced it in the book, and taped the book underneath the bed again. All this he did automatically and rather absently, being lost in his own thoughts. The room seemed too silent all of a sudden. It remained that way as he made his way to the door and left the room normally instead of using a dark corridor.

* * *

"Roxas? Come on, I said I was going to be late." Axel rested his forehead against the cool door marked with XIII and blew out a long breath. The mission had been so simple at first that Axel had considered it an insult. Then it had gotten complicated real abruptly and nastily when some busybodies in the town had caught sight of him and spread the word. Which proceeded to complicate things as every damn person in the place had to come running. Axel had been ready to incinerate the whole world by the time he had fought free.

Sensibly, he had not as that would have resulted in an even longer half-hearted report to Xemnas, and he would be pleading outside Roxas's room two hours later at midnight rather than now. "Roxy… I'll buy you however many ice creams you want. Just open the door!"

Nothing happened. Axel lightly knocked his head against the door in exasperation. Then reeled back when the door suddenly opened and nearly slammed into his face. "I like my face as it is, got it memorized?"

"You were the one with his head pressed against the door." Roxas reached out and tugged the injured pyro in.

And, as usual, the first thing Axel did was stumble over to the bed and collapse overdramatically on it. "…Did I ever tell you how much I love your bed?" He paused, with his arm flung over his eyes. "Oh wait. That sounds…urgh. You didn't hear me say that." Another pause. Axel slowly lifted his arm away from his eyes to see Roxas still standing by the closed door, back facing him. "Roxy? You ok?" Half-mockingly, "Need help getting the light?"

Roxas turned. "Leave them." His eyes shone almost electric blue in the darkness.

Axel sat up completely on the bed, skin tingling. "Um, Roxas?"

"Shh…" Roxas approached him and knelt before him. "You talk too much sometimes."

"Aw, you know you love me." Despite his flippant words, Axel was watching his blond friend uneasily.

Placing a hand on the comforter on either side of Axel, Roxas leaned forward. He could hear Axel's breathing quicken as he inched closer. "So. When were you planning to tell me that you watch my ass?" The erratic breaths stopped coming for a moment. "Scratch that, that you watch all of me. A lot. Whenever I'm within watching distance actually."

As Roxas had continued, the 'oh shit' feeling in Axel's stomach had given way to the 'wait a second' reaction as the words sounded more and more familiar. He got it right as Roxas breathed out the last word millimeters from his ear. "I burned that. How…?"

"Figure it out." Roxas accompanied the verbal trio with a slow lick across the shell of Axel's ear. Axel bit down on his lip as Roxas began tracing the twisting shape the cartilage made. "Roxy…"

"Mmm…?"

Axel shook himself away from the rapidly descending haze. "Roxas. Whoa. Hold it." He managed to pull away and hold them apart an arm's length. "Are you…"

Roxas's eyes flashed. "Six months. Six months since I first got here, Axel. I don't know how long you've been watching my ass and I don't care. We've lost six damn months already. So stop talking." He pushed forward and managed for them to end up sprawling on his bed, heads dangerously close to a bedpost. Apathetic towards the close shave with brain damage, Roxas started undoing Axel's coat zipper, revealing pale skin rapidly.

Never one for taking unofficial orders, Axel leaned back and opened his mouth. Now that he had caught up with the situation, his confidence and ego was back in full glory. "You know a confession is supposed to be between confessor and priest. Since when were you a priest, Rox?"

Roxas glared up at him. "Since when were you Catholic?"

Axel sped smoothly onwards. "So. Gonna give me some Hail Marys, Father Roxy?"

Roxas muttered something under his breath before resuming his work on Axel's coat, finally sliding the black leather off the other's shoulders. "Do I have to gag you?"

"Why, how kink—" The momentary silence, cut into by a brief denied whine from one of their throats, lasted until Roxas had to pull away for air.

Axel's hand suddenly twisted into the fabric of Roxas's coat, pulling the younger close so their panting breaths mingled. His smirk was wicked. "Absolve me, babe."


End file.
